A year has passed since a Gauteng-based woman lost her entire pension to a cunning boyfriend who dated her for around one year, while leeching off her.
In July, IOL broke the story of Nothando, whose identity is withheld to protect her from victimization. Days later, the story was also picked up by several media houses and went viral on social media platforms.
At the time, Nothando told IOL that she lost around 13 kilograms in two weeks when it became apparent to her that her hard-earned money, and her loving boyfriend, were gone without trace.
A case was opened by the SA Police Service in Gauteng and police have been hunting for the elusive boyfriend.
On the night of January 24, when it finally dawned on Nothando that the man she knew as her loving boyfriend, Henry Mugisha had actually scammed her. She had been making frantic calls to his phone number, and it all came to naught.
“In the morning I tried again to call and got nothing. That was when my mind started realizing what might be happening. I had a sick feeling in my stomach and couldn't sleep that night. My mind started adding up all financial responsibilities I had. But what made me nauseated was my family and what would say to them, my two beloved boys, how were we going to survive?” she recounted.
“I went online and researched about mental health and depression. I thought if I committed suicide at least they will find out about my horrible mistake when I'm not there. Anyway, I locked myself in my bedroom and didn't go out, talk or chat or engage anyone. This was first week of school re-opening in 2024.
“We moved from living with a full refrigerator and loaded pantry to having only basic food to eat. I started to snap at my sons when they asked for food or wasted any. This, they found awkward and strange. I stayed like that for two weeks and moved from 73 kilograms to 60 kilograms in weight loss,” Nothando told IOL at the time.
Days ago, IOL hooked up with Nothando, who is now beaming with hope and confidence.
“It is now a full year since I was scammed. This time in 2023, I was a millionaire. My pension payout of R2.5m had been safely deposited into my bank account. The other fake money, the so-called millions of rands given to us by the "ancestors" were also in the bedroom, inside the kist,” she said.
The other money which made the R2.8 million total Nothando lost to the cunning boyfriend came from cash loans she was induced to take from banks.
“My boyfriend, the so-called Henry and I were preparing to perform the last act that will ensure the official joining of our lives. All the plans and activities were on track, then Henry vanished. Initially, I refused to accept, let alone believe that he could do this to me. Our year-long love seemed genuinely sincere.
“His acts, words, and prayers were real to me, and I believed in us. All I can say about that now is that he was a damn good actor, cause wow, he really played me for a fool! Now, as I reminisce about all this, I don't feel anything about this man whom I once loved and spent one whole year with,” said Nothando.
She highlighted that she has finally moved on, and Henry has now been relegated to be just a dark thought and a horrific memory.
“I have prayed and asked God for guidance. I have kneeled down and called out to my ancestors for strength. Both have guided me to release the fear and anxiety of the future. But most of all, they guided me on how to relinquish my anger and hatred towards him. I have learned to forgive them (Henry and his accomplices) but not to forget. I was guided to let God and my ancestors lead the way on a proper and befitting punishment for them,” she said.
“I am healing through prayers and the wonderful support I have from my fellow sisters, who have gone through similar scams. The bond we have created even under these horrendous ordeals is miraculous. We are now focusing on getting justice and recovering both emotionally and financially through our non-governmental organisation (NGO) named Recover and Rebuild Victims Empowerment.”
Nothando has expressed confidence that since the IOL scammed series began, the law enforcement authorities have upped their investigations and scammed women are being taken seriously.
“Our law enforcement officials are finally taking our cry for help seriously. I am fortunate that I got a job and can provide for my two boys, and most importantly, save my house from being repossessed by the bank,” she said.
“I have hope for the future, and I know that my ancestors and God will see me through. Many didn't live to tell their stories. I am thankful to be healthy and alive.”
Throughout 2024, IOL has ran the scammed series, where dozens of South African women have frantically been knocking on several doors, after being knocked in romantic relationships by men who are not easily traceable.
For Nothando, reading about other women’s stories in the scammed series helped her in her journey towards forgiveness and healing.
“Loosing one's lifetime savings, especially through a scam, is one horrendous ordeal I wouldn't wish to my worst enemy. After realizing that I was scammed, I felt all alone, lost, and no zeal for life. These feelings were exacerbated by our law enforcement officials. They ridiculed me, made me feel stupid, and a useless person. For about nine months, I struggled to get headway with my case to be given the attention it deserves. My case was closed after two weeks,” she narrated.
“All this frustration and desperation changed immediately when the team at IOL started to write a series of stories about the horrors experienced by South African women all over the country, who were lied to by the Ugandan men, under the pretext of love and a wonderful life. You gave us hope and the desire to continue with our lives.
“You were patiently and with empathy, requesting each one of us to put pen to paper and write down our experiences. When we each saw our stories in the media, and the law enforcement officials responded, we had hope, we started to heal, and we found a reason to continue living. It was the IOL team which ensured that most of the scammers’ faces are splashed on different print mediums. Our ultimate goal is to get the mastermind behind this horrendous act,” said Nothando.
In a desperate bid to speak out, the scammed women from different parts of South Africa have regrouped, holding hands in their bid to raise awareness on the rampant romantic scams, while demanding justice.
The women have registered their NGO Recover and Rebuild Victims Empowerment and some of the alleged scammers have been arrested. The majority of the scammers have however remained elusive.