Evicted 'Big Brother Mzansi' housemate Kokii discusses her mental health journey and key life lessons

Born Philani Koketso Beuzana, the nickname Kokii comes naturally from her second name. It’s the name fans grew to know during her time in the “Bazozwa” house, a journey that was far from easy.

When the 27-year-old freelance model walked into the “Big Brother” Mzansi house, she didn’t just bring her bold personality and tattoos that scream toughness. She also brought softness, sensitivity and a deep emotional honesty that viewers slowly got to see unfold.

She was evicted from the “Big Brother Mzansi Bazozwa” house on Sunday, February 8, becoming the sixth housemate to leave the competition. Her exit came during the live eviction show hosted by Smash Afrika, where she was up for elimination alongside Mshefane and Buhle B.

Speaking to “Independent Media Lifestyle”, Kokii said the most challenging part of her experience was the house’s operation separation twist. Being forced into gender-based groupings took a real toll on her emotionally.

“I’m a girl’s girl, I don’t want to lie, but I’m more drawn to the men. Not because I want to, like, you know, have relationships with them, but I grew up around boys,” she explained. 

Being separated from that familiar comfort unsettled her. She described it as something that affected her mind, heart, body and soul all at once. While she tried to go with the flow, it wasn’t always easy.

She admitted that she was tempted to break the rules at some point, just to sit nearby and listen to the boys’ laughter from a distance. With the girls, it felt tense and, eventually, those cracks did turn into drama and conflict.

Beyond the strategy and social dynamics, Kokii’s time in the house also forced her to confront something much more personal, and that’s her mental health.

Her journey with depression began long before “Big Brother”, following the passing of her grandmother. The loss hit her so hard that she eventually admitted herself into a mental institution after recognising she was not safe on her own.

“I was smart enough to go to the doctor and say, ‘The way I’m feeling is too much',” she shared.

While she is open about the fact that depression is still part of her life, Kokii says she now understands herself better. She has learned how to recognise her triggers, sit with her emotions and talk herself through difficult moments instead of letting them consume her.

Inside the “Big Brother” house, that emotional work continued. There was no privacy; she had to find her own quiet coping mechanism. When things became overwhelming, she would go to bed, cover herself with a blanket and allow herself brief moments to cry silently.

“I’m very soft,” she admitted. “I cry properly. But in the house, you learn to cry quickly, just in case someone walks in.”

Surprisingly, one of the most unexpected parts of her “Big Brother” experience turned out to be the punishments. While she knew they were coming, she didn’t expect them to affect her the way they did.

One particular punishment had her crashing out, where food, dishes and toilet paper were thrown all over the kitchen floor.

Already exhausted and dealing with a bad hangover from going hard at the Saturday night party, Kokii initially jumped straight into cleaning with passion, only to be met with another messy twist from "Big Brother". 

“It really got to me to a point where I went outside and crashed out,” she said.

While her stay in the competition was short-lived, if she could go back to the beginning of the season, Kokii said she would remind herself not to “sleep on the job”.

“You are talented,” she tells her past self. “You can sing, act, model, dress. Showcase that more. And don’t forget why you applied.”

Though her “Big Brother” journey has come to an end, Kokii leaves the house with a deeper understanding of herself, her strength and her vulnerability. 

And for viewers, she leaves behind a reminder that toughness and softness can exist in the same breath.