Sticky eyes: the flirting hack that’s turning heads in modern dating

Dating in 2025 has taken some unconventional turns, thanks to Tiktok.

From swiping right on dating apps to decoding flirty emojis, the modern pursuit of romance is filled with unique twists. 

One of the latest viral trends, however, is delightfully simple: making eye contact.

Dubbed "sticky eyes", this technique has captured the attention of millions online, sparking debates about whether it’s a game-changer or just old-school flirting rebranded for the digital age.  

The viral power of "sticky eyes"  

The concept of "sticky eyes" went viral thanks to TikToker Chelsea Anderson, who describes herself as a “professional life hacker.” In her now-famous video, which has racked up over 6.7 million views, Anderson explains the technique in three simple steps:

• 1. Make eye contact, then quickly look away as though you’ve been caught staring.  
• 2. When their eyes meet yours again, maintain eye contact until they’re the first to look away.  
• 3. Finally, avoid looking at them again, creating an air of mystery.  

According to Anderson, this technique works like magic, often prompting the person to approach you as if they’ve been “summoned psychically”.

While the idea may seem new in its “sticky” packaging, experts argue that it’s a classic flirting strategy disguised as a TikTok hack.

The psychology behind the game

Amy Chan, author of "Breakup Bootcamp: The Science of Rewiring Your Heart", describes "sticky eyes" as a form of “greenlighting” a nonverbal signal indicating interest and openness.

Chan notes that prolonged eye contact can enhance someone’s likability and approachability.

In a society where many interactions occur digitally, in-person cues like eye contact become exceptionally significant. They provide a sense of authenticity often missing from screen-based conversations.

Why do "sticky eyes" work?

Dating anywhere comes with its unique blend of cultural expectations and pressures, but one thing that transcends these differences is the universal language of body language.

Why do "sticky eyes" work?

The success of "sticky eyes" speaks to a deeper truth about modern dating: we crave meaningful connection.

South Africans, like people everywhere, are navigating a world where digital communication has taken precedence over face-to-face interaction. In this context, simple human acts like holding someone’s gaze carry new weight.  

Dating experts say, “In a world where people’s eyes are often glued to their phones, eye contact holds even more power. It can make you stand out in a way that feels natural and confident.”  

The trend also highlights what some call a "communication crisis". We’re constantly connected via WhatsApp and Instagram, yet research shows that genuine, in-person connections are dwindling.

A 2023 survey by Statista found that 72% of South Africans aged 18-34 felt disconnected despite being active on social media.

This could explain why a technique as simple as eye contact feels revolutionary.  

The risks of  "sticky eyes" 

Of course, not all eye contact is created equal. If done incorrectly, "sticky eyes" can easily veer into uncomfortable territory. As Anderson jokes in her video, there’s a thin line between flirty and creepy.  

For instance, maintaining eye contact without a soft, friendly expression can come across as intimidating.

Relationship coach Blaine Anderson advises, “Always pair eye contact with a relaxed smile. Otherwise, the other person might feel uneasy instead of intrigued.”  

Another key consideration is cultural context. In some South African communities, prolonged eye contact might be interpreted as disrespectful or overly forward.

Being mindful of these nuances is crucial when attempting to use "sticky eyes" in real-life scenarios.  

While "sticky eyes" might be a fun way to spark interest, experts caution against relying on it as a one-size-fits-all dating strategy.

“Eye contact is just the first step,” says Chan. “Genuine connection requires deeper engagement, like meaningful conversation, shared interests, and emotional availability.”  

Body language plays a significant role here. Uncrossing your arms, angling your body toward the person, and even light physical touch (like brushing your arm) can all signal interest.

These small shifts can be especially impactful in South African settings, where warmth and openness are often valued in social interactions.

What "sticky eyes" say about modern dating  

Ultimately, the popularity of "sticky eyes" reveals how much dating has changed in recent years. The pandemic forced many singles to rely on dating apps, leaving some feeling out of practice when it comes to in-person flirting.

At the same time, the rise of TikTok and Instagram has made dating advice more accessible but not always reliable.  

For example, other TikTok trends like “ghosting as self-care” or “relation-shopping” (treating dating like browsing on Takealot) have also gone viral, often with questionable results. The key is to approach these trends with balance, taking what works while staying true to yourself.  

But perhaps the biggest takeaway is this: dating doesn’t have to be complicated. Sometimes, all it takes is a little confidence, a genuine smile, and the courage to meet someone’s gaze.  

In the month of love, why not ditch the endless swiping and try something new?

After all, the eyes are the windows to the soul, and, in 2025, they might just be the secret to finding your perfect match.