What do we do about the Pied Pipers?

THE recent incident involving two underage girls who went missing, skipped school, and were later found in the company of unknown adult men has left our community reeling.

As both a clinical psychologist and a parent, I am deeply concerned not only about the safety of these girls but also about the broader implications for our children, families, and society. The viral circulation of their photographs and personal details adds another layer of trauma, raising urgent questions about how we, as a community, can better protect and guide our children.

Let me begin by acknowledging that parenting is one of the most challenging roles anyone can undertake. There is no manual, and every child is unique. However, in today’s fast- paced, technology-driven world, many parents struggle to keep up with the complexities of raising children. While they may be physically present, emotional connection is often lacking, sometimes due to work stress, daily life demands, or social media distractions.

Children need a safe space where they feel heard, understood, and supported. If they don’t find this at home, they will seek it elsewhere, often in dangerous places. This is where the "pied pipers" come in: individuals who appear to care but have their hidden agendas, leading our children into unsafe situations.

Parents often focus on the significant issues that they deem relevant, like grades, discipline, and safety, but overlook the small, everyday details of their children’s lives. Who are their friends? What are their hobbies? What excites or worries them? These seemingly minor details can provide early warning signs of trouble. Thus, taking cognizance of these can be a preventative measure.

Something as simple as asking about their day on the drive home from school, inquiring about their mood, and understanding what affected it can be invaluable. Seemingly small acts like putting your phone away and giving your child undivided attention when they want to talk help them feel valued, heard, and safe. Speak with honesty; instead of preaching, share your struggles in an age-appropriate way that fosters trust rather than alienation.

These make for building bridges rather than putting up walls and looking down on our children.

While technology is a useful tool, it cannot replace genuine human connection. Many parents assume that giving their children smartphones or social media access keeps them occupied without realizing the risks these platforms pose. Social media, instant gratification, and the lure of ‘pied pipers’ are genuine threats.

Teach your children about clickbait, catfishing, and the long-term consequences of their online actions. Remind them that once something is shared online, it leaves a digital footprint that can follow them for years.

While privacy is important, safety is paramount. Apps like FindMyKids can help parents track their children’s locations and monitor social media usage without being overly intrusive. This is especially crucial for underage children who may not yet have the maturity to navigate the world safely on their own. So, find a way of guiding them with technology and making it work for you to keep them safe.

The viral nature of today’s digital world means that children who go through incidents like these will likely face public scrutiny and possible judgment for years. As a community, we must respond with empathy rather than condemnation. Before sharing information, we should verify its accuracy and consider the potential harm it may cause.

Children are not born with the wisdom to navigate the complexities of the modern world. It is our responsibility to guide, educate, and equip them with the tools they need to make safe and informed decisions. Let us all be vigilant, compassionate, and proactive in protecting our children from the pied pipers of the world.

Nazia Osman is a clinical psychologist registered with the Health Professions Council of South Africa. She has a PhD, and treats psychiatric and psychological disorders. Osman also helps  clients with personal, professional or societal challenges.

** The views expressed do not necessarily reflect the views of IOL or Independent Media. 

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